WATCHMEN!!!!! Guest bloggers Adam Gawinski and Mike Mattucci deconstruct the movie:

Yes, the long awaited film adaptation of “Watchmen” is finally here and it’s safe to say that it was worth the wait. Watchmen has long been considered the “Holy Grail” of comic books (though you’re not required to know your name, quest, or favorite color to read it) and has been considered un-filmable since it first came out in 1986. Then again, the comic book adaptation “Howard the Duck” also came out in 1986, so you can see what they had to compare it to back then.

“It’s a joke…it’s all a joke.”

Many directors have tried to work on the project and all of them said that the story was too complex and that there was too much story to fit into a single movie. Zach Snyder, director of “300” and “Dawn of the Dead,” has proven all of those people wrong with this movie, and yet at the same time proven them right with the Directors Cut being just over 3 hours. Take THAT “Dark Knight!” And even then, there were scenes Zach had to cut that he probably really didn’t want to. Something tells me if Warner Bros. gave him the thumbs up to make a 5+ hour movie, he would’ve been a kid in a candy store, while we all sit in theaters regretting that large Pepsi we downed in the first half-hour.

The plot of the movie is straight from the book. It takes place in an alternate 1980’s universe where Richard Nixon is in his 5th term as President of the United States. That sounds insane, of course, but our Nixon didn’t have the Comedian to cover up that pesky Watergate Scandal the only way the Comedian knows how…



“I am not a crook OR a murderer! Just thought I’d throw that in there too…”

It’s interesting to note that the only superhero in this film with any actual powers is the hairless glowing Smurf, Dr. Manhattan, who received the ability to manipulate matter after getting trapped in a test-chamber during a nuclear physics experiment. That watch he forgot in there better have been made of solid gold & diamond encrusted, or I’d say it wasn’t worth it. It didn’t even survive the explosion

After the public becomes tired of “masks” taking the law into their own hands, all acts of vigilante super-heroism were outlawed by the Keene Act in the 70s. The only two legally in action are the Comedian and Dr. Manhattan, who both work for the government: Dr. Manhattan making things, and the Comedian making things dead. The only one still “vigilante-ing it up” is Rorschach, a crazy paranoid detective with an acquired taste for uncooked baked beans.

The movie starts with the Comedian getting killed and Rorschach thinks that someone is killing off former heroes. Some of the retired heroes start to investigate as well, after several other masks start disappearing and they realize what every character in a movie like this realizes after a while “Hey, maybe the crazy person is onto something.”

Some people may complain because there were no “A-list” actors in the cast but for the most part the actors were perfect. The Comedian, played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan, and Rorschach, played by Jackie Earle Haley, are the highlight performances. Rorschach, who is basically the most popular character of “Watchmen” for reasons of sheer awesomeness, was portrayed perfectly, so we’d recommend this film for just him if you’re a fan.

Fun Fact: Jackie Earle Haley was also bad-boy rebel Kelly Leak in the original “Bad News Bears.”


“I’m not playing baseball with you. YOU’RE PLAYING BASEBALL WITH ME!”

Nite-Owl and Silk Specter, played by Patrick Wilson and Malin Åkerman respectively, also gave good performances. Dr. Manhattan’s actor, Billy Crudup, gave a good contrast from his awe-inspiring, god-like presence with an eerily human voice with no sort of editing done to it in post-production. He could do a Master Card commercial as Dr. Manhattan if he wanted to (Oh, by the way, he is the narrator for the Master Card “priceless” commercials…okay, now go back and read the joke again…There. Funny now? Good, moving on.).

The only actor probably worth complaining about is Matthew Goode, who played Ozymandias. They chose a very young and thin man to play the world’s smartest and physically fit man. He just did not seem to fit into that role. If they wanted a thin blonde guy to play him they should’ve just got David Bowie.




At least he wouldn’t be dressed like Ziggy Stardust.

Son of a…

Overall, the movie was excellent. The action had some slow motion, but it was done in good taste. By “good taste” we mean they’re fleeting moments that don’t really need to be noted upon, unlike “300” which probably would’ve been at least 5 minutes shorter sans shots like those. The amount of violence did seem a bit over the top though, and there is a sex scene in the movie that kind of dragged on, when the comic book only touched on it for a couple pages.

Dr. Manhattan is naked for most of the movie, and yes you do see his “junk,” but only in the background most of the time. It’s not really made all that distinct from the rest of his body, unless you’re looking for it. Then again, if you read the book you probably were looking for it just to see if Zach Snyder went all-out in sticking to the book as much as possible. We can safely assure you he, in fact, did. So, obviously, let the kiddies stick to Hugh Jackman & his epic mutton-chops this spring, parents.


For the kids!

For those who haven’t read the book it may seem a little slow paced because this is not a superhero movie in the traditional sense. It’s more of a murder-mystery noir type deal with people with masks and a naked, buff, blowing member of the Blue Man Group in it, than your run-of-the-mill good guy vs. bad guy movie.

For those who have read the book, there are some things that have been changed or left out, but it did hurt the movie, unless you’re on of those people who just HAS to see every little detail on the screen or it’s just ruined for you, causing you to go on your blog and unleash some good ol’ fashioned nerd-rage.



“BUBASTIS ISN’T THAT SHADE OF PURPLE!!!”

We highly suggest reading the book before seeing the movie, of course. It will make the movie more enjoyable, make you informed on the plot going in, and fill in some blanks that the movie might have left out. And also, buying the book will help keep Alan Moore from killing Zach Snyder like he tried to do to the Wachowski Bros. for “V For Vendetta.” However, at the time, Alan Moore was unaware that they based “The Matrix” trilogy off of their own lives, and no amount of crazy beard-based kung-fu could defeat them.


Then again, I still think he could take them…

We like to think Mr. Moore left their meeting shouting “What are you two going to screw up next!? SPEED RACER!?” To which the Wachowski’s replied “Hmmm…”

All in all, it’s probably the most faithful adaptation from book to movie there ever has been. So to all of you nay-sayers out there, just be glad it didn’t end up like this.



Or this, for all you Simpsons fans.


Written by Adam Gawinksi & Mike Mattucci